Man squeezes between myself and another man despite plenty of room beyond me.
“Would you like to move over there” he requests of me
“No, but it sounds like you do” I reply
Why was he positioning himself between myself and the other gentleman as if he were the filling in some kind of sexy sandwich?
Woman flailing her arms about as she recites a tedious story about something or other. It was akin to a deaf person attempting to sign after dropping an ecstasy pill. I really didn’t fancy those crassly painted nails stabbing me in the eye either.
Can anyone give me the number to call to arrange a few more people to stand around by the doors without any intention of getting off at that stop? You are aware we can’t walk straight through you, well, not without the use of a lawnmower held aloft like a scene from Braindead.
And I heard you tutting, yes you, with the hairstyle resembling a mop head. Don’t be so dismayed that half of us got our earphone cables tangled in your umbrella since it was protruding so ungracefully from your market stall designer knock-off handbag.
You people who look at me with scorn for daring to descend the stairs as you try to run up them to catch the train. Why are you running for the train as if it where the last one to leave the Earth before the meteor strikes anyway? Surely you are not late for work? I am surprised you have a job since you can’t even decipher the sign that says ‘KEEP LEFT’
Is it just London that has a higher asshole to civilised person ratio?