The Plagues of London

Should I be freaked out?  I am going to Egypt next week, setting of the original Ten Plagues and am witnessing my own plagues at work in London.

It all started a week ago,a  rotten stench enveloped my office, akin to someone microwaving brussels sprouts – not the most pleasant sensation for your nostrils if you can imagine for a moment.

If anything would activate your gag reflex, this was it as it grew progressively worse, Rentokil examined the area but nothing could be found, it was above our heads in the rafters above our polystyrene fitted ceiling panels.

A few days later you could hear tiny little thuds.  Nothing alarming, we usually hear giant thuds from crows and gulls doing the can-can across our rooftops.  But then a scream escaped from a colleague – a maggot had dropped on their desk.

Then it went ballistic, every half a minute maggots begun raining down from gaps in the ceiling tiles, literally raining maggots, very biblical you’ll agree.

They don’t like to be picked up either, squirming away from my grip, the solution I found was a post it note and dabbed each one up until I had the sticky back of the post it crawling in plump little bodies.  I got about 50 in all and I nested them outside.

Bank holiday weekend then be felled us, the Rentokil guy said the maggots would form a chrysalis then emerge as beautiful blue-bottles.   I envisaged a scene out of The Flies if Hitchcock had made a film about flies instead of birds, myself cast as Tippi Hedren, in a pale green two piece swatting away as they make a nuisance of themselves around my head.

No such luck, Tuesday morning came and I entered the office to a floor strewn with blue bottle corpses and a few victorious ones zipping about the room.  Luckily we had a hot weekend and the heat must have fried them as when I tried collecting their bodies they would disintegrate under the tissue paper.   I went about selecting the music for their funeral and then proceeded to use the Metro newspaper to deal with the other bluebottles who were having a jolly time of it (which was quite disrespectful of them, lauding it over their deceased counterparts).

If that whole episode wasn’t enough we then found a rat in the works kitchen – I’m gonna need a weekend newspaper to tackle this.


My maggoty friends

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  1. Ruby

     /  May 8, 2013

    I hate maggots. Like, really really. They make me want hurl. And just to put this in context, I am literally typing this comment on my phone while sitting in an OR with a patient whose entire pelvis is cut o

    • Ruby

       /  May 8, 2013

      Cut open and the doctor is sawing pieces of bone off. This does not bother me. Maggots??? I would’ve left that office and never returned.

      Also, I hate typing on my phone. I wasn’t finished there!!!

    • Can the maggots help him? When I googled how to get rid of them they seemed very useful.

      They were gross, the Rentokil guys said they no nervous system not blodd supply so none of his treatments work. If they never bothered turning into flies they would take over the world.

      • That sounds like the making of a horror film.

        And yes, maggots are used with burn victims because they’re a very clean way to remove dead flesh. For whatever reson, those maggots do not like the taste of freshness. But still… Shudder!!

  2. Raining maggots? What’s next? I saw maggots once in the trash years ago and I nearly fainted. I was freaked out for days.

  3. You say raining maggots like that’s a bad thing…

  4. You saw maggots in person? It’s like you’re writing my Bucket List Blog.

  5. I’ve had some horrifying encounters with insects before, but nothing as bad as this. I’m pretty sure that if I’d been in your office when the rain started, I’d be checking my clothes and hair for maggots for days afterwards.

    Was the rat you found alive or dead? Was it what the maggots were eating, or are the remains of their dinner still in your ceiling somewhere? I’m guessing that’s what the stench was.

    • I could hardly keep my lunch down, as I was the one chasing them around, everyone else was too freaked.

      Rat was alive, we get mice at work being in London, by the canal and by railway tracks, and I see rats out and about but never in our kitchen at work. Was a mice they were munching on, I guess the rat just wanted some of the spoils too.

      Fun times…after 15 years in this chair there aren’t many things that happen out of the ordinary, there was a fire nearby once, and another time the police came to arrest a colleague but that was it in 15 years. I’m thankful for the maggots adding to my life experience.

  6. Holy fuck, that’s vile. I think I’d quit right then and there. You’ll probably be safer in Egypt than in that kitchen.

    • I’ve been stationed here 15 years, I won;t be ousted by a rat. This is war!

      This incident was a first though, ah well, makes work more challenging

  7. That would be added to the “how to lose weight” list, a kitchen full of maggots and rats (let’s say there are plenty of them).
    I read maggots and think of this (minute 3:50)

  8. Maybe there were rotting brussel sprouts up above your ceiling tiles or a dead body. Either one would set off a plague of maggots.

  9. how can i like this…question mark

  10. omg. I’m not usually given to using this trite, overworked abbreviation, but not wanting to take the Lord’s name in vain, all I can do is scream, in caps. OMG!!!!!! I would have run screaming from the building.

    • I would have loved to but people were more in fear than I so someone had to collect them all up. I feel I conquered a fear though, it wasn’t all bad.

  11. Eeeeeeeew!! It sounds as if the bugs didn’t bother you at all. Just looking at the photo makes me gag and shiver, whereas you brushed them away like so much dust.

  12. And to think I was worried about the imminent cicada invasion here in NJ. I’ve got nothing on you!

  13. Well of course this is the nite I decide it would be a good idea to make a smoothie and go read Joe’s blog! (on the upside I need to drop a couple of pounds)! What’s that? You’re going to Egypt next week? That is so cool! Well now you’ve got one of the ten plagues out of the way (one of them was gnats so really only 8 left to go!) How bizarre tho.


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