I’m kinda obsessed by people with OCD, you could say I am OCD about people with OCD.
I’m fascinated by the way their mind works, making them do illogical things. You know when people are forthright and others say “That person knows their own mind” A person with OCD doesn’t know their own mind, they are a puppet to this other organism controlling them. It’s like something straight out of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, they are that freaky.
I was thinking there are many levels to OCD, I would go as far to say that a hoarder is OCD to another extreme, and I love hoarders too. We usually affiliate OCD with obsessive cleaning and tidiness, but the same traits manifest in a hoarder too, they have structure in their mess, everything still needs to be in its place, even if its place is at the bottom of what resembles landfill.
I once lived with someone who had OCD of the cleanliness variety, not a bad thing, the house was always spotless.
Everything had to perfectly lined up on shelves, on the mantelpiece, they would do circuits of the flat making sure that tea towel was hanging with precision. Often when it was raining out and I was a bit bored I would mess things up a little just for the kicks. The clock that was perfectly aligned to match the right angle of the mantel, it was precisely placed to the millimetre, I would put it on a slant ever so slightly, when they returned to the room I would watch them squirm in discomfort as the clock would taunt them from a 50 degrees
I would then retreat to the kitchen only to return to find it back in its uniform position and a sense of calm settling over the room.
I work with someone with OCD now, they are in interesting study as they have the OCD elements of routine in that everything has to be done in a certain order, more of which I’ll get to later, coupled with hoarding sensibilities, it’s a fascinating mix.
Each morning when they arrive, they step out of their car and then proceed around the vehicle opening every door in turn, including the boot. They look in each door, this takes about 10 minutes before they retrieve a bag containing their sandwich for lunch and it’s safe to enter the workplace.
I see a few possible reasons for this:
- They have someone deposit their lunch somewhere in the car every morning for a fun game of BLT hide and seek
- It’s akin to checking under the bed and in the closet for monsters – those Passat monsters are the scariest
- They’re fucking crazy
It’s actually quite a problem at work as something that should really take minutes is drawn out over most of the day as they have their process for getting something done, this includes asking me what they should do about something, even though they have been in the job 15 years and actually know the answer. It’s seeking affirmation it’s ok so they are free to move on to the next step of the process. A single part of their thought process cannot be skipped.
Everything needs elaborating; I noticed a car had been on our forecourt for a week, I said “Is that so and so’s car?” he replied “No, it’s other so and so’s car, it’s broken down”
You’d think that would be the end of what was just a bit of small talk, I asked a question and got an answer that covered it, I was content with the resolution to my initial query.
But, they continued “It broke down on the Tuesday and they said they are getting a friend to look at it…..saying that I think it was a friend, he said he knew someone from………(10 minutes later) so I guess that makes them friends. He was supposed to be coming on Monday next week, but he said he had to go and do this instead……(by this time my hair has receded)….so that meant they couldn’t come Monday”.
There is no way in their mind that would allow them to not elaborate on something, it would be unfinished business in their heads which would cause it to explode if it isn’t uttered through speech. I do sympathise, it must be awful having a voice in your head barking orders at you.
I wrote a post about hoarders a couple of years ago, I can’t link to it know as it would take forever, it’s probably post number 23 or something., it also gives me an opportunity to rehash some stuff I wrote about then. (I actually just found it by a google search and unsurprisingly have rehashed half of this post already, if I was OCD I would have checked that meticulously before proceeding)
I wrote about the hoarder in my life and I came along at the right moment in order to throw out their clothes amassing in wardrobes, they were so old maybe they kept them in the hope of the next fashion revival in twenty years time. I also opened years worth of mail stored in carrier bags, and helped myself to the plentiful gift vouchers that had accumulated in them over many years of birthdays. Don’t worry, I earnt those vouchers, it took me weeks to filter through that unopened mail, and now I spend my days as their full-time post handler.
What degrees of OCD do you have? Do you have to do a 360 degree spin before turning off a light switch? Do you have to scrub your hands clean 15 times a day?
Thinking of hands made me think about this Ren and Stimpy clip.
I digress, so tell me about your OCD tendencies or your hoarding tendencies, in the comments below so we can all gasp and snigger in equal measure at your lunacy.