The Chancellor of the Exchequer this week revealed the year’s budget plans, this led to widespread celebration by the wealthy as they were handed more cash to spend on yacht accessories.

BOOYAH!

Hardest hit were the nations alcoholics, as well as the rise in duty plans were also released to increase prices on poor people’s choice of tipple in an attempt to curb Britain’s age-old traditional culture of binge drinking.

The Government has recently been accused of eroding British identity with these measures, I met with a spokesman for BAFTEC  (Blokes Against Foreign Things Except Curries) who said:

“Binge drinking is as much a part of our ‘eritage as morris dancin’ and beheading,  it’s my god given right as an English geezer to get hammered on cheap booze, piss in the street, have a bit of a punch-up and that, but whatshisname wants us to be all foreign and fancy, he’d have us kissing each uvver on the cheeks and that like some pansy”

So could heartwarming scenes like these girls enjoying a night out be consigned to the history books?

Other sources say this will have no effect on the binge drinking population most of whom don’t buy bucket sized ciders and super-strength lager.  Statistics report that the most hard hit will be our indigenous tramp population.

I met with the chairman of the Tramps Association,  Fergus McCoonty and asked him how this fiscal increase is going to impact on his welfare and what knock on effect this will have for the next generation of tramps, he replied: