A new series in which I imagine the lives of my new neighbours
“There they are again Harold, it’s those new people from upstairs. Look at the way they’ve parked, right in front of our window”
“They keep carrying lots of things upstairs, it’ll be like a jumble sale up there”
“And did you hear that banging, going on all hours of the day, it was giving me one of my migraines Harold”
“I saw them carrying a cat, in one of those carry boxes, that thing better not make its mess near my roses, I say Harold, I’ll be having words with them if their cat messes in my roses”
“They are carrying shopping from Marks and Spencer Harold, will you believe it! Marks and Spencer when Tesco is just down the road. They won’t get value for money there. You know I bought that pork from Tesco, £3.00 that was, lovely bit of pork, it was a bit grey in places but I just cut those bits off, there was nothing wrong with it. Still, £3.00, you remember when we used to get our meat from Mr Dicksons in the high street. He used to throw in lots of crackling for nothing. He was a lovely man, I wont believe what they said he did to those children, gossips the lot of them. Marks and Spencer indeed!”
“I see that woman at number 27 is pregnant again, always got her legs in the air that one, gentlemen visitors every night, tsk, I don’t know what’s become of people these days. You remember when we met Harold, there was no funny business until we were married. Mother didn’t approve, and too right. Nowadays people are flaunting it everywhere. and they don’t wear hosiery, you can see their bare legs Harold”
“Harold……?”
londonsurvival 
missL
/ February 26, 2014This is so so awesome.
joehoover
/ February 26, 2014Thank you miss L. That is the same name as my sister, except she is now Mrs L. and she has a surname too. So it’s actually not alike at all!
missL
/ February 26, 2014Hahah. Close enough. 😉
pouringmyartout
/ February 26, 2014You have a gift for this… you are going to make a splendid old woman someday… HA!
joehoover
/ February 26, 2014Oh yes I can’t wait for my purple rinse.
I bet you don’t have those.
joehoover
/ February 26, 2014You will know what it is as you watch Are you being Served? Mrs Slocombe has one.
pouringmyartout
/ February 26, 2014We have purple, blue and pink… often the poodles are dyed to match…
joehoover
/ February 26, 2014You American’s, always go too far. 😉
pouringmyartout
/ February 26, 2014It is the last thing we are good at…
Madame Weebles
/ February 26, 2014I can actually hear her talking, too. Poor Harold, he just wants a bit of quiet and a nice cuppa. But you know, the missus wouldn’t have to be such a nosey parker if people would just behave themselves like they did in the old days.
joehoover
/ February 27, 2014I miss the old days 🙂
I couldn’t decide if Harold was just in the photo on the table and he had passed away years ago or if he had died that morning or he was just snoozing. I’ll leave that to the reader to interpret 😀
Linda Vernon
/ February 26, 2014I love the voice you’re using on this new series! I can just hear her now! And see her. I imagine her to be the British version of Gladys Kravets.
joehoover
/ February 27, 2014Great! Maybe she needs her own series and to hell with the other neighbours!
Linda Vernon
/ February 28, 2014She could be the one spying on all of them. You could bring each one as they have different problems with her!
joehoover
/ February 28, 2014Nice idea, I need to name her.
I’m going with Maude
Linda Vernon
/ February 28, 2014Perfect!!!!
El Guapo
/ February 26, 2014My, what a…lively neighborhood you’ve moved in to!
joehoover
/ February 27, 2014Honestly I have not seen any neighbours, all you see are net curtains moving. It’s like a ghost town
appletonavenue
/ February 26, 2014Poor Harold. Sounds like he’s married a lovely woman. Can’t wait to read more about them.
joehoover
/ February 27, 2014I realised Harold is the go to name I use for older gents, when I ‘wrote’ my hobo sitcom he was called Harold too.
appletonavenue
/ February 28, 2014It’s a good old-fashioned name. I like to use Poindexter.
joehoover
/ February 28, 2014That’s a lovely name.
thehobbler
/ February 26, 2014Nice to see you back here Joe!
joehoover
/ February 27, 2014hey! You ok? I had a month without internet due to moving so finally have it back!
thehobbler
/ February 27, 2014I’m fine, how are you doing?
joehoover
/ February 28, 2014Cool, are you blogging again?
thehobbler
/ February 28, 2014Not much. I’m having a really hard time writing anything. Temperamental, starving artist, type of blogger. 😉 I need to get my act together.
joehoover
/ February 28, 2014I don’t get the time much these days, get home too late from work etc
thehobbler
/ February 28, 2014Yeah, the long commute must suck, especially since you were so close before.
joehoover
/ February 28, 2014it’s ok, It’s broken into three stages, if it were one long tube journey for 90 minutes it woudl be a drag but it is a 10 min bus, fag , 12 minute tube, fag and 5 min walk to the overground station, then 20 min journey then a 10 min walk. The variation makes it ok
thehobbler
/ February 28, 2014Yeah…
Ok…there’s no easy way to say this…maybe something’s lost in the language barrier…
What exactly is “fag”? Here in America, it is a derogatory term for a gay person.
So, unless you are breaking up the monotony of your commute with a quickie…I think I might be misunderstanding you.
joehoover
/ March 3, 2014😀 I always forget this. No, I’m not stopping off for some nookie. A fag here is a cigarette
thehobbler
/ March 4, 2014Either way is fine with me. I don’t judge. 😉
joehoover
/ March 4, 2014I’ve never been the cottaging type.
thehobbler
/ March 4, 2014That makes a lot more sense. 😉
gingerfightback
/ February 28, 2014Do you live next door to my in laws? Fuckin spooky
joehoover
/ February 28, 2014😀 Tell them to pop upstairs and see
gingerfightback
/ February 28, 2014I was round there once and Mother in Law asked if I wanted a sandwich. To which I replied “Yes”. She then popped her head back round the door and told me she had bread rolls if I preferred. I said I would stick with the sandwich. Father in Law then said “That’s strange Jim, I had you down as a roll man.”
There is no answer to that.
joehoover
/ February 28, 2014😀
What does a roll man look like?
Maude (that’s her in the window) would say, “Do you remember when Jim turned down that roll Harold, they were some lovely rolls I got from Arkins the Bakers in the village, fresh that morning they were and he saved me some specially, I bought some lovely jam tarts too, do you remember Harold, you enjoyed those jam tarts with your tea. Of course I had to throw the rolls out, rolls don’t keep like a loaf, I can freeze my loaf leftovers but the rolls don’t freeze well, such a waste. Elsie next door would have left them out for the birds, the buggers do their mess all over my washing. Who wouldn’t want a roll Harold, I knew something wasn’t right about him, I said that didn’t I Harold, I said there’s something not right about him”
gingerfightback
/ February 28, 2014Brilliant! Uncanny – they protest about bird shit on the pation – one day I received a lecture on the advantages of slip ons over lace up shoes. More than you think!
joehoover
/ February 28, 2014They’ll be the shoes they advertise in the classifieds of The Daily Mail, they always show them being bent in half to reflect how flexible they are.
gingerfightback
/ February 28, 2014And boy are they!
benzeknees
/ March 6, 2014I love this series! The Twitcher – I’ve known a few of them myself! Pics of the new place please!
joehoover
/ March 6, 2014I’m still accessorising. Two friends close by both got burgled yesterday, awful!
pegoleg
/ March 11, 2014How did you get that shot of me at my front window? Probably hoping you’d catch me without my cardigan, you perv. What did I tell you about them, Harold?
joehoover
/ March 11, 2014😀
Hope you’re well, I need to catch up on your blog, I am systematically going round all that I missed for the last couple of months since I moved and had no internet.
thehobbler
/ April 15, 2014We need another installment of this series dear. 😉
joehoover
/ April 15, 2014When I have time 🙂