Catching up…

So what’s been happening?

I could just find that out by reading up on your blogs for the past couple of weeks that I missed, I started, I honestly did, but you wrote too much.

I was out of town in the wilds of North East England where they don’t have internet and they still marry their brothers and sisters.

It was charming really, here’s a photo of the beach 2 minutes from the house we stayed in, the water being of a colour that would resemble your toilet pan if you had the misfortune of suffering the Norovirus over Christmas.


One day we walked the beach for about 3 miles to the next town which did a nice line in teenage mothers and chavs with dogs which made up a who’s who of the Dangerous Dogs Act.  I bought a fridge magnet.

Desolate English seaside town:


I lasted until 6am on New Years Day, my throat sore from copious cigarettes that I swore off them for good.  I lasted two days.

2013 sucks so far, put too much weight on at Xmas, failed to kick the fags, work is incessant and will get worse, and fox has taken up residence in my garden and is howling for a mate from 4am onwards, my cat doesn’t seem bothered about sharing her domain.  How she’ll protect me from a burglar then I’ll never know.

Just read WordPress’s 2012 summary of this blog.  Wordpress is acting like an encouraging parent who fully supports you even when you are useless.   Listing the most popular posts this year it declares “Some of your most popular posts this year were before 2012…Congratulations, your writing has staying power!”  Kind words indeed but it can also be read as “no one is reading you anymore”

The top referring sites are of more interest as Facebook is one, so my friends are reading this blog.  I better stop slagging them off in my posts then.

Another are from BBC website referrals, not quite sure where or why I am somewhere on the BBC website, they are either watching me to offer me a writing gig or I am being named in the Jimmy Saville debacle.

Finally another main referral is from a fellow bloggers site, the marvellous Justmakingconvo.   One of my favourite sites, so that is sure an honour.

Thanks to my top chatterboxes PMAO, Guapo, GFB and Darla…now if I can just get a word in edgeways I’ll fill you in on some movies I saw over the festive period.

The Hobbit:  Short ugly people battle taller ugly people..  Surely we need to stop peddling this David and Goliath myth, if I squared up to a 7ft tall bruiser I’d be pummeled into the ground.

The Impossible:  I have a great love for Thailand, it’s my favourite place to visit, I even let them tattoo half my upper body.   I’ll spoil it for you, they all find each other and their insurance company puts them on a private jet straight out of there.   I expected a nod at the end maybe saying the film is dedicated to the memory of the 275,000 people who lost their lives, none came…but at least Naomi Watts, Ewan Mcgregor and a trio of precocious oiks survived.  (Sighs)

Cloud Atlas:  Reeks of smugness.  I read reviews about how intelligent it is, as if understanding it is a guide to your Mensa capabilities.  I’m a self certified snob yet I found nothing in this cow manure of a film that can justify lording its appreciation over others obviously less able to comprehend it.

Here’s to another fun year blogging, thank you to all followers and commentators that I am proud to call my friends.

Leave a comment


  1. On the bright side, now we can look forward to a full year of venom directed at cigarettes, bad movies and Food Network.
    Probably mostly food network…

    Happy new year, Joe!

    • And to you too. It can only improve!

      Reminds me I had a dream about Ina Garten last night, not sure I wanted reminding thinking about it 🙂

  2. Happy New Year & Welcome back, Joe!

  3. I did lots of photos and funny pictures. But I think you are caught up with my stuff… so never mind.

  4. I stopped blogging for a while after the Newtown Massacre & then posted a whole bunch of stuff right around New Years. Big post today for Hotspur’s birthday – if you have time you should read them, there are some wonderful posts.

    • I started on a couple of the birthday posts, still so many to read! Probably taking the birthday boy just as long too 🙂

  5. Welcome back, Joe! I’m crushed that you didn’t take a photo of your new fridge magnets. I love fridge magnets. Unfortunately our current fridge is somehow NOT magnetic, so I can’t use any of the many wonderful magnets I’ve collected over the years. Sounds like you had a mixed bag for the holidays. Mine was a mixed bag too, and I’m glad the holidays are over. I haven’t seen any movies lately, and at the moment there’s really nothing I’m dying to see, so I guess I’ll just stream older stuff online instead. And I’m quite certain that your review of Cloud Atlas is spot-on, as I saw the commercials and I felt my upper lip curling into a sneer.

    • Your fridge defies all the laws of nature! The magnets deserve a post all of their own, I force everyone who goes away to buy me one so it looks I am much more travelled than I really am.

      I wouldn’t have gone to see those films, my partneris on some judging panel so gets sent the DVDS from Hollywood.It’s all very exciting when when plops through the letterbox.

      Hah! Don’t see Cloud Atlas then, your blood pressure will go through the roof.

  6. People who still marry their brothers and sisters! I’m impressed, I had no idea you knew the royal family. I mean I know you’re chummy with the Collins’s but I had no idea! I’m sorry you didn’t quit smoking. Just keep trying. That’s what I did and one day it stuck. and now that I’m old I don’t have to go to be at night and worry every time I cough that I’ve got lung cancer (probably just heart problems) Thanks for the movie reviews. I feel like I already saw them now and I saved a lot of money, so thanks Joe. Question: What’s an oik?

    • My aim is to waste my life watching bad movies and save the rest of humanity those precious hours.

      An oik, I guess is a spoiled brat. Maybe it’s got something to do with the sound a pig makes, so maybe it is noisy, dirty children. I’m probably making that all up

  7. Thanks for saving me those precious hours, Joe. I wasn’t drawn to The Impossible and I have very little time for all these medieval fantasy films, so I wouldn’t have watched them anyway. But you have bolstered my determination to not weaken in the face of the turbo-charged publicity. I’ve never heard of Cloud Atlas. The name alone screams pretentious. I think I’ll pass on that too. Good luck with giving up on the fags this year. If that’s your intention. Enjoy the fridge magnets.


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