Movies – In Time

In Time starring Justin Timberlake and Amanda Seyfried (no I’d never heard of the movie either)

This movie reminded me why I always normally go out on Friday nights to get drunk, it beats staying in to watch tripe like this.

It’s the future, there is no currency as everything is paid for in time, you only live 25 years then a stopclock appears on your arm counting down the final year of your life, you then spend your final year desperately trying to get more time, obviously the wealthy have thousands of years and live in a cosmopolitan part of town and the poor live in slums with mere hours left remaining.  I wonder what message the makers of the film are trying to convey?

The thing that you spot first is that no cinemas exist in this world, which is accurate as you wouldn’t waste your remaining hours watching a movie this bad.

I wanted to like this movie, I often dream of a future where I have to survive against the odds, as long as it isn’t cold, I don’t want a future like the Day after Tomorrow, too chilly, so anything post nuclear holocaust, zombie filled or dystopian would suit me.

By some stroke of luck Justin meets a fella who he rescues from an ass whopping, and he generously thanks him by giving him his final hundred years just as Justin has just a few days left.  This is odd considering the guy was running away from getting murdered for his time only to give it away and die anyway, he could have saved spending his final moments running like a loon from the assailants and chilled out with a cocktail and a cigar.

So Justin is now on a mission to use this time to bring down the figures responsible for hoarding time and creating the class divide.  First thing’s first he needs to give his mother more time as she is on her final day.  He has arranged to meet her that night with about 2 hours left of her day before she dies.   Maybe this is just me but if my mother was going to die that day and I could save her then I think I’d probably meet her for lunch instead of dinner.

Mother hasn’t enough time left to pay for the bus fare so she has to run the route instead, in heels.  Justin is waiting at the end of the bus route and realising his mother wasn’t on it runs the route back, they see each other and run to each other but she dies the second she reaches him.

He blames this on the system and vows revenge.  This is so indicative of kids today, always looking for blame when if he had just  gone to meet her earlier instead of visiting his friend then he wouldn’t find himself in this predicament.  His friend had 18 days left so he could have easily waited, but he didn’t think to prioritize his mother who had hours left.   I suppose I can’t talk -I always forget mothers day and her birthday but if I had to give my mum more time to live I’d cancel my other plans.

Multiple car chases and lots of running ensue after he kidnaps Amanda Seyfreid who managed to fall in love with each other after 10 seconds, a rich daddies girl he ‘saves’ from her life of never-ending time to end up on the run ambling by on mere hours, I say run, he actually drags her across the entire movie.

Eventually they take on the Robin Hood mantle and start stealing time from the banks and the wealthy and give to the poor, culminating in stealing a million years from her fathers vault.

Justin being the fuckwit he is forgets his bad time management and end up again with seconds to spare to save his girlfriends life.  Having just previously been in possession of a million years it didn’t even cross his mind to top themselves up with a few days to see them right.   So we re-enact the run towards each other previously culminating in a mega-fail when his mother died but this time Amanda must be wearing flats as she makes it just in time.

In the movie people make gifts of time to each other, and this is exactly what I will do to you, I gift you two hours by asking you to avoid this movie.  You’re welcome.

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23 Comments

  1. Could have been worse though; at least they didn’t do a duet for the soundtrack.

    Reply
    • That’s so true!

      Reply
    • That would have been worse! It pays to look on the brightside sometimes, yes I lost two hours, but I also didn’t gouge my eyeballs out in that time.

      Reply
      • Exactly, unlike say Mamm Mia. Or some film starring JT that was equally rubbish.

        That’s why I’m on my fourth set of eyeballs.

        Reply
        • They really need to be making them out of titanium, something more hardwearing and clinically tested to withstand bad movies.

          Reply
          • It’s fine – I can afford new ones: I get a good rate of hours per hour at work, even a 30 minute bonus on occasion.

            And occasionally I get the opportunity to drag dainty young things around the city to steal hours from her daddy’s bank vault, so I’m all set, really.

            Reply
  2. Thanks for those 2 hours, I’ve been meaning to give this movie a chance but I guess it won’t happen.

    Reply
  3. The only worthwhile thing Justin Timberlake has done is Dick in a Box.

    Reply
  4. …Hand-in-hand with your dignity. Just sayin’…NICE POST, EH!

    Reply
  5. This week is Thanksgiving here in the US. I am very thankful that you spared me the need to watch this.

    Reply
    • It’s my gift offering to you.

      I wish we had Thanksgiving, sounds delicious. I think I’ll hang around St Johns Wood, the Americans all settle there in London and gatecrash someones dinner.

      Reply
  6. You dream of a future where all the guys look like Justin… Ha.

    Reply
  7. Justin’s mom doesn’t sound too bright either. Did bus fares go up unexpectedly that day? If not, there’s really no excuse for not leaving early enough to walk at a reasonable pace.

    Reply
  8. Oh, dear, sweet clueless Justin. Loved reading this review, Joe. It was hilarious. You should do this more often, make it a weekly thing maybe?

    Reply
    • You want me to put my brian cells through this torture on a weekly basis?!?!

      I usually save a bad film for a hangover on a Saturday, that i don’t mind as they are about on a par with each other, the terrible film and my addled brain

      Reply

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