Good samaritans, bad biddies and self-appreciation – My Week Condensed

1) Londoners are often miscast as miserable and unhelpful, this isn’t so, I witness kind acts on public transport all the time.

Take this week when a girl was clearly drunk, ok, she may also have been having a panic attack or in need of an insulin injection, but it was 5.30 pm so tarring everyone with my brush I was going with the drunk option.

Luckily for her, other more caring Londoners noticed her plight a good 10 minutes after I had witnessed her slowly slump lower and lower to the floor.

2) On another occasion a very elderly lady struggled onto the train with her walking stick and shuffled down the moving carriage.  A lady spoke up:

“Would you like this seat”?

“No” the elderly lady snapped back.

“Are you sure” the kindly Londoner replied

“Of course I’m bloody sure” the old lady retorted.

I was thrilled by this exchange, I just love a cantankerous old bag.

3)  I was at a Skyfall premiere last weekend, not THE premiere, this was the premier for the people who worked on the film.  The ones who spend 6 months airbrushing the stars to make them appear more attractive so teenagers can try to get an eating disorder to look like them.  The film was ok but I most enjoyed the end credits when the audience applauded their own names coming up.

How odd to pat yourself on the back for something you are already paid to do.  If I correlate it to my work scenario, it’s like unleashing a fireworks display once I have finished filing the paid invoices.

Wait a second, I’ve just allocated the bank credits to their respective customer accounts….wait just a bit more……..look out of the window…..right about………NOW!

Hurrah for me.

Leave a comment


  1. I don’t see anything about Disney pins in here!!

    • It’s not this one, it’s another post for Movember I am working on, takes more time as it’s a parody on Downton Abbey, it’s imminent, well the next coupld of weeks anyway when I get time to do it.

  2. Le Clown

     /  October 24, 2012

    Joe Hoover,
    Everything I know about London, I’ve learned from Coronation Street. It is also Corrie’s fault if I think Manchester is just like London. Now I feel better.
    Le Clown

    • That show was the bane of my childhood. My parents are from Manchester so watch it avidly and think the characters are their friends, muttering “Oh Vera..” when she used to row with Jack.

      Manchester is a pretty cool city though, nice people, nosey, but nice.

  3. It is my goal to end up a cantankerous old biddy. We all have our dreams.

  4. Everything in number 3 is great. Especially the airbrushing/eating disorder line. Love it!

    • I hate media types, many friends work in it so when out with them their friends always ask what I do and then glaze over and shun me when I tell them I manage an office.
      “A media office?”
      “No, lighting” I reply,
      “Lighting for film?”
      “Oh…” As they turn to speak to someone else.

      They could just be a runner making coffee but they still think they are above you even if I earn three times as much and have responsibility managing a company, but no, filling up the coke fridge is obviously a greater achievement. Assholes.

      That line is no joke either, I know someone whose job was to airbrush Angelina Jolies veins from her hands in Salt…in every frame. She could help them along a bit by using some Nivea cream daily.

  5. You’re selling yourself short, Joe.
    Filing invoices and allocating credits?
    There should be a parade under those fireworks.

  6. Good thing you get all your recognition here. And remind me never to get passed out drunk in London…again…

  7. Joe… I have been trying to send you an invite to the other blog, but every way I type in your user name is not recognized by wordpress. What is your exact user name… or an email addresss… so I can hook you up.

  8. #1 and #2 were particularly hilarious to me. I see cantankerous old bags here too and it kills me when you try to be polite to them and they do everything short of whacking you in the head with their canes. As for the girl who fainted, I’m pretty sure it would have been about 10 minutes in NY too.

  9. Hey! wait just a goddamn minute here! I’m a cantankerous old bag! I have to be, I live in Maine. It’s state law. Helps us survive the nine month winters.

    • I did say I love a cantankerous old bag and I mean it. I wish my gran wasn’t such a lovely old lady. How boring.

  10. Appreciating the idiosyncrasies of the particular city you live in is a sign of maturity and good taste 🙂 I am still struggling to appreciate the habit of people to eat on public transport here, seriously, they seem to break out the full picnic on board, which I find appalling. One day i’ll get there.

  11. I stare, mesmorized at the applauding audience. When will their hands tire?


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