Subscriber 118, where have you gone?

Dear Subscriber

I say you were number 118 but you may not have been , I saw I had 118 this morning and now only 117 remain.

You may have been anywhere in that list but I don’t know who you are.

Now you don’t subscribe will you even see this letter?

Why did you leave me and what can I do to get you back?

Are you a Royalist who doesn’t approve of the Queen being scantily clad in a bikini or leading a Zumba Class (it can’t be that I revealed that she has a S & M fetish as that’s true)

Are you a scientist who spent the taxpayers money solving problems we never knew we had?  Did all your years of hard work fall to pieces when you realised the answer was pretty obvious in the first place.

Don’t you like my musical choices on the cover version contest?   I’ll feature Justin Bieber if that helps?

Are you a Food Network fan and was so disgusted by your favourite cooks being murdered in the name of entertainment that you removed yourself from my mailing list?

Was there nothing here you liked?  I had pictures of my cat on a few posts, everyone likes cats.   I had landscape photos on my holiday posts, WordPress loves landscape photos.

I have no recipe posts here but I’m a great cook, I can put some recipes up if that helps?

Is it my Gravatar?  I know it’s not actually me, it’s not even my thumb, but I’m shy, If you like I can post a photo of myself to help you relate to me, then you’ll see I’m not an evil thumb person, but real – just like you.

Can we be friends again?

I’ll be here waiting for you, I’ll pull out an eyelash for every day you are gone, please don’t be too long, I’ll look weird with no eyelashes.

Yours sincerely

Your friend, JoeHoover

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11 Comments

  1. I will just say, this letter would make great lyrics for a Disney song 🙂 Boo to subscriber 118!!!

    Reply
  2. You are such a suck up. I’m sure whoever it was will be back. I’ll do some PR for you one of these days, just because I love you so much.

    Reply
  3. If one goes astray you go after it. . . I am so sorry 118 has forsaken you. Maybe they just got lost.

    Reply
  4. Joe, you went from 118 to 170 followers this fast? Is it your real friends since you told them on Facebook? Don’t forget me Joe. It will break my heart.

    Reply
    • Yeah, they never signed up, WordPress automatically counts your Facebook friends by default. So its cheating a bit, makes me wonder about other bloggers who have tons. I only have 43 friends on Facebook but some people I know have 500, so if they had blogs it fiddles the figures. Who has 500 friends?!

      Reply
      • Fakers…they have thousands of friends. I kind of hate Facebook. I have thought about deleting my account, but I don’t know, there is some good stuff about it I guess.

        Reply
        • I only have people I know properly and it helps my friends abroad to keep in touch and also find out what gigs my friends bands are playing.

          But the ones with hundresd of friends, it’s all through work networkign normally, or they meet someone once in a bar and get their Facebook. It’s rubbish and false, I don;t want to see hundreds of feeds from people I don;t really care about. Same as blogging I will only follow ones I like, I suppose there is that mutual back slap, you follow me then I follow you, but I check out their blog first and if it’s not my thing I don’t follow just to reciprocate.

          Reply
  5. Obviously you’re in pain but I know how to make you feel better. It comes down to one word… “revenge”. Unfortunately, you don’t know who the specific turncoat is so you pick out a brand-new blogger to WP, enlist all of your other 117 to follow them, and then at some predetermined point (like upon their posting their fourth post) everyone writes a quick but unambiguous comment of disapproval to it and unsubscribes!

    Reply

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