Happy Birthday Boobies!

False boobs that is, who celebrate 50 years since the first silicone implants.

“What’s he doing talking about boobs?” I hear you ask, and you have a point, I wasn’t even breast-fed.

“I suppose you do have moobs” Someone pipes up at the back, yes, I do, but they are 100% natural.

Some of you are huge boob fans as I gathered from some of your posts and I dare say some of you have a pair of your own.

Maybe some of you have falsies too?ย  Well…..?

The BBC site used quotes from the first recipient of these squidgy enhancements, Timmie Jean Linsdsey, I knew that was a Texan name before reading further.ย  She’s now at the ripe old age of 80, what were her thoughts after the operation:

“I don’t think I got the full results of them until I went out in public and men on the street would whistle at me.”

In an era when women were burning their bras, Timmie was shopping for an upgrade and revelling in the sexual objectification her new bazookas gave her.

And what of her thoughts now 50 years later?

“You would think they would stay real perky, but no – they are just like a regular breasts, they begin to sag over the years. That surprised me. I figured they’d just stay where they were.”

“It’s kind of awesome to know that I was first,” she says.

Timmie, you know what’s awesome?ย  That an 80-year-old women says the word awesome and that she says awesome in relation to her artificial jugglies.

My main problem with false breasts is that they look like they are stuck on with double-sided tape, though I have only seen them of the porn variety and the girls who want to be as artificial as possible so prefer the ones that look more fake to match their exaggerated eyelashes, hair extensions, false nails and tangerine coloured skin.

This story coincides with the horrendous saga that up to 400,000 women could have been fitted with faulty implants so it says something that a pair 50 years old are still going strong – they just don’t make them like they used to.

Leave a comment


  1. Gazza’s breast were always best.

  2. That’s right folks – find some breasts and give them a birthday hug! And a smooch too, if you can get it in before the cops show up…

    Sent from my Android. In the back of a police car

  3. Fake Girls – Fake Hair, Fake Nails, Fake Lips, Fake Boobs, Fake Eye Lashes And They Wonder Why They Can’t Find A Real Man ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. I am still waiting for puberty to hit so I can get my own set of Boooobies. I can’t afford fake ones, yet.

    Heavy Sigh

  5. What amazes me is that they have to be replaced after 15-20 years. That doesn’t seem to get publicized too much. Also, testicle implants are now covered by Medicare.

  6. I’d say there are not much people on this planet, who don’t appreciate boobs (for one reason or another).
    The only difference between people seems to be what they prefer:
    1) big and no matter what they’re made off
    2) only the real deal

  7. Hey! Love your blog ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve tagged you for a game of Q&A. Check out the details in my latest blog post if you want to play ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. I’ve never come across a bogus bosom in real life so I’d like to keep an open mind, but the natural ones (big or small, so long as they’re not attached to a man) are plenty fine with me.

    I never knew the fake mommy bags sagged! Why don’t they just anchor them to the ribs with hooks or Velcro or something?

    • It does seem pointless that they fail. I’d need to factor in the longevity to determine how much they are costing a month so I can budget your surgery in with your grocery expenses etc

  1. Wham Bam thank you Spam « londonsurvival

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