A public (in)convenience, a turd of a movie and a bitch of a cat – My week condensed

1) We all have our routines, subconsciously or not we stick to these like clockwork.   On my journey home from work I observe someone caught up in their own routine, at 5.35pm every evening he is pissing in the same spot of the alleyway towards the train station.   Why doesn’t he go before leaving work?  Does he get halfway down the alleyway and think “Dammit, I forgot again”    It gets worse, on the other side of the bridge there is a fresh dump there once a week which takes an age before the weather breaks it down, I’m not saying it’s the same guy but he’s high on my list of suspects.

2) I’ve been staying in watching a lot of movies this week, by far the worst of which was Limitless starring ‘World’s sexiest man’ Bradley Cooper (must have been a small pool they selected from if he was the biggest turn-on for the selection panel)   This is a film where a pill supposedly makes you more intelligent and he has a meteoric rise to wealth and success, with only a few blips along the way like people trying to kill him.    Whenever he ran low on stocks of his uppers he would have terrible side effects, but luckily he kept finding ways to procure more and thus gain enough success to conquer the stock market and run for mayor of New York, and this was how it ended, he came out on top.

In one scene he had run out of his pills and was verging on cold turkey but he had just killed a man who had used the last of the pill made into liquid form and injected into his veins, so as the man lay pooling blood, our hero started lapping up the guy’s blood to gain his hit.

This was a strange movie as it glorifies drug abuse without actually insinuating it was drug abuse, I suppose the drug created wealth and we know there is nothing wrong with capitalism of course.  It’s only poor drug addicts society disapproves of.

Verdict:  Shit

The finalists for World’s sexiest man:

3) My cat went a step further to total house domination by using her death stare to force me to buy her a cat activity centre.  So I dutifully dismantled my computer desk which was in the way, and set up the cat tree in its place.  She sat on it surveying the room before jumping off and settling on the box it came in.

Who needs to have children to manipulate you when your pets do just as good a job?

Lily's evil side comes to the fore

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12 Comments

  1. I think it’s Bradley Cooper pissing in that alleyway, because your cat stared at him until he complied.

    Reply
  2. You’re lucky. My cat pukes on my desk. Repeatedly. Like pissing in an alley. On Tuesday, it was all over the mouse. Try getting that out of the scroll wheel, I dare you. I think it’s his way of saying, “you work for me, bitch. Now stop commenting on blogs and pet me.”

    Reply
    • No way, luckily mine tends to just puke on the rug, she also took a shit there a few weeks ago – that was in protest at me being out every night

      Reply
  3. I can’t imagine people routinely peeing on the streets – and worse! Except on St. Paddy’s Day in Chicago, when that’s business as usual.

    My cat routinely leaves piles of gack in fun and out-of-the-way places for me to find. Except when she does a stealth-gacking right outside my bedroom door so I’ll step on it when I get up in the dark of night to go pee in the alley.

    Reply
    • The only time I peed in public (I swear) was at a festival and the portaloos where further away than the bushes, as I unzipped to go I heard awomans voice “please don’t pee on me!” She was crouched down behind the bush relieving herself and spoke up just in time. We laughed about it afterwards.

      Reply
  4. Thank god I have no cats.

    Your pissing in the alley story reminded me of the time I lived right next to L.L. Bean. Our kitchen window faced their loading dock. We were always amazed how every so often a customer (or even employee) would find their way to the back of the building, unzip and let the urine fly. Like they had no cares in the world (or a moment to go find an actual bathroom)

    Reply
    • Cats are interesting to observe the power shift in the house, you can see it happening but you are powerless to do anything about it.

      Peeing in public actually really bugs me, and spitting – I hate that.

      Reply
  5. Lilly is a beauty. Is the peeing and pooing outside a common thing in London?

    Reply
    • Even when she’s sticking her tongue out? I did post pictures before of her rolling on her back, she looks cute and innocent there.

      I work in an industrial park so it’s not nice anyway and it’s a horrible alleyway, I say alleyway but it’s a pathway running adjacent to the train tracks and takes 10 minutes to walk it in poor lighting! Only time there’s a toilet problem in London is at kicking out time at the bars, where I live is ok, bars open til the early hours so never a problem realy, central London is worse as they shut everything much earlier as they have a different local council and don’t have late licensing, that’s what makes London a bit daft really, major city but the centre closes down at 11pm, apart from clubs and some late bars, harldy a 24 hour city! But they drop off portaloos around the bar areas for people to use instead, so not really a problem.

      The poop is fine just the sign of one crazy guy! I don’t even regard where I work as London since it’s not somewhere I would choose to live nor is there any reason for visitors to go there, it’s like a no man’s land. Serves a purpose for businesess but it’s pretty grotty.

      Reply
  6. Ha ha..cats are the devils. Try having them both run a muck in your house. 8 yo Satan x’s 5yo bratty satan x’s skidmark the cat satan.

    Reply

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