The Non-Awards Award

I’m gonna fess up to being a hypocrite. 

I’ve seen various blog awards bandied about (for a brief second I thought there was a real tangible award for them – don’t mock, I work in a really dull industry and we have a national awards ceremony so anything is feasible)  I wised up and assumed it was a kind of chain letter thing so didn’t think much of them.   I’ve also never been one to blow my own trumpet, if I was you would find me in my room with a do not disturb sign on the door.  However, someone else did see fit to chuck an award in my direction, I’m gonna accept it, but I won’t post the image of the award – I don’t like clutter.

The 7×7 award seems above-board and was handed over by lifeisabowlof kibble, it’s  a really nice write-up for which I thank her, in turn I like her blog as she lives up a mountain and thinks nothing of seeing all manner of wild things ambling about, this couldn’t be further away from my life so always fascinates me.   I also like the fact she thinks I’m really young (almost 36) and quite possibly hip (I’m gonna let you believe this for now)

Now the cynic in me is dispelled, I have to select my own blogs that I rate as Most Beautiful, Most Helpful, Most Popular, Most Controversial, Most Surprisingly Successful, Most Underrated, Most Prideworthy, then I have to pick some of the blogs I follow and nominate them.   This is where I may come unstuck as I know that some of the people I avidly follow would not give a hoot about an award.  So I am not handing them one but singling them out for attention as you should pay them a visit if you haven’t already.  

I see the people I follow also follow each others blogs so it’s going to be hard to pick people who some of you may not have seen yet.  And coupled with the fact that out of 60 followers I think I only have about 15 real ones, most came in one fell swoop when I was Freshly Pressed and have never contributed to any posts via comments since, I’d like to think they are still reading but people act on the spur of the moment, click the follow button then live to regret it.   If you other 45 followers are still reading it would be cool to hear from you now and then so I can call off the search party.

Here are my own posts I nominated for each category

Most Beautiful

My attempt at poetry, ok, it’s not beautiful or particularly poetic (it rhymes if that counts) but it’s as close as I’m gonna get.

Most Helpful

7 Billion and counting with some advice on preventing a population boom, please heed this advice, there’s too many of you.

Most Popular

By most popular I am guessing most views, or would it be most comments?   I’ll go with views since most of my readership are mute.   There is  a two-way tie pretty much, there is my Freshly Pressed post, but this has recently been overtaken by Camden Town is not Disney Land, this is currently getting about 60 views a day but only as Google decided one picture I used is the 3rd choice on Google Images when you type in Camden Town and since it is a tourist hotspot in London it gets a lot of hits.   I hope I’m not deterring too many people from visiting but they should probably stick to Leicester Square anyway.

Most Controversial

I do this for fun not to vent about the issues of the day so you won’t find anything controversial here.   I did add a political stance once though with my strong views on the Occupy protests

Most surprisingly successful

The Freshly Pressed post, not the best but they saw fit to publish it.

Most underrated

I thought What’s in a Name was ok.

Most prideworthy

An early blog, not particularly great but I was proud of myself at the time, not of what I wrote as I had quit smoking, I wrote with great satisfaction and condescension and annoyed the hell out of my friends still smoking with my air of superiority.  Reading it back now is irritating enough as I waffle on for ages about how great I am and how wonderful life is as a non-smoker, I wouldn’t bother reading it if I were you (PS:  I started smoking again a month later)

Now over to my recipients, as mentioned some of you wouldn’t care less about an award, so we’re not calling it that, these are just some people I like to read and others should too.

Also, if you don’t like the original 7 topics to rate your own posts, please use these alternative ones or use both:

Written whilst on hallucinogenics (or may as well have been)

Most romantic

Would most offend your mother

Least read

Post you’re contemplating sending to the Trash basket

Most likely to induce vomiting

Most likely to make people want to pepper spray someone in a Black Friday sale

Here are my recommendations, remember it’s not a real award so you can’t smash my head in with it if it offends you to be nominated.     Take it how you like, I’ve got nothing else to write about as I’ve been busy preparing for my holiday next week (don’t burgle my house)  so this came at an opportune moment.

Edward Hotspur.  I came across him via a fairly innocuous comment to one of my posts so thought I would politely head over and see what he was about.   I couldn’t have envisaged what followed, I can’t really explain it, you’re gonna have to make your own mind up.   Although I will say you never know what you will get when you see the email calling to your attention a new Hotspur post and I can’t think of a better recommendation than that.

Next up is PrincessVonVoodoo, I call her Your Majesty, I can give you all other names too but this one’s taken.  You may need an online swear jar as you read about the freaks she meets going about her everyday business.  Her current clown post is excellent, check it out.

Next up is Lovely Shades of Nostalgia.   One of the first bloggers I signed up to follow mainly because she writes eloquently about something so far removed from my life and it always makes me want to make a cocktail whilst reading her posts. 

I wanted to steer away from people with a huge following as they get enough praise.  But I will have to mention The Good Greatsby.  You probably know him already as he’s recently ben FP’d.  You get a brilliant post every day but his followers are great too and I found others I  follow through his blog so I am indebted to that.  

Just started reading The Mainland if you enjoy satirical twists on current affairs then this will be up your street.  I follow one in the UK called Newsthump which is on a similar theme.

About time to support some fellow Brits….

Next up is Doors Will Open,  I only just checked him out after a comment left on a recent  post, but I like his style so looking forward to reading more

Finally, Pigeon Blog, has plenty of followers, but again it’s another shout out to a fellow Londoner, oh and yeah he’s a pigeon.

There we have it, the non-awards awards do with it what you will.  

Apologies to everyone I left out and don’t be disenchanted, winning isn’t everything – they even gave Sandra Bullock an Oscar which says it all.

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  1. princessvonvoodoo

     /  November 30, 2011

    Dear AL Wonderful K Hall

    This little write up brought a tear to my eye;) Which is good because the huge fuckers are always drying out. This is really quite awesome and I am still astounded that anyone is reading my blog at all. Thank you very much.

    Princess von Voodoo

  2. It’s a pleasure Your Majesty. You may have uttered the first swear on my blog too, extra kudos.

    It’s odd I swear as part of my every day vocabulary but when I write it never comes out. Probably just aswell or my shopping list will read:
    Cat Food

  3. Congrats on the award!

    When I click on each of your posts that were nominated by an impartial judge as the best ever written, I get a message that I am not allowed to edit those posts. I just want to read them first – I’ll let you know if I want to edit them later. Help a sista out?

    • Whoops! I don’t think I know how to link things properly

      Any ideas how to link to your past posts? I was just opening up a new window and copy and pasting – it sounds wrong now I write it

      • How lazy of me, I’ll just look it up on how to do it properly.

        • You go in to edit, then highlight the title of the post you want to link, and go up top of the box and hit the link picture. It gives you the choice to add an outside link, or, on the bottom, a list of your past posts.

          Don’t feel bad – I couldn’t figure it out at first, and I still get all messed up when I try to include an outside link.

    • Should be ok now, it’s actually very easy – can’t believe I have been doing it wrong all this time.

      It will mean you can’t edit them though, that could have been fun.

  4. Thanks for giving me some new (or well old I guess but new to me) blogs to check out 🙂 Muchly appreciated!

    • I need to stick a blog roll back up, I took it down when decluttering, but that’s how I find everyone on recommendation.

  5. Aw, thanks for the shout out. I can relate on the “phantom” followers from being Freshly Pressed. Apparently it’s the trendy thing to do to follow an FP’ed post, because I wonder where they all went too. But I do greatly appreciate those who stick around and read my feeble corner of the blogging world, and the new ones I pick up along the way.

    Soooo, does this mean I have to, ya know, do the same? Toot my own horn? haha

    Thanks again!

    • I think it does, best to stick to the required options, I will probably be hunted down by the 7×7 awards body for changing the criteria. There is a logo to put on your blog somewhere

  1. Hey! This was supposed to be fun, no? | inglesymagia

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