Get your freak on – My week condensed

Having been to the pub more than normal this week in order to numb myself to the ache emanating from costly root canal treatment, I’ve witnessed a large proportion of freaks,  this happening is called Freak Night and it usually occurs on a Friday.   This week however it was more frequent and they turned up throughout the week as witnessed here:

1) A regular customer known for his heavy drinking and smoking had a stroke, upon being discharged he went back to the pub for more drinking and smoking then had another stroke.  You gotta applaud his loyalty to the cause.

2) A dwarf managed to get up the stairs to the first floor bar, of course his stature should not hinder him from ascending the stairs but his inebriation should have.  There was something fairly sinister about a completely wasted dwarf talking and laughing out loud to himself, it was like a scene from a Terry Gilliam movie.   He announced he was going to the toilet which set off visions of him sitting on the urinal like a potty whilst people were standing at them adjacent to him.   He eventually got thrown out by the bouncer for causing a whole shit load of trouble, I’d like to think the bouncer just picked him up and carried him out legs kicking through thin air, but this never happened.    This is terribly un-PC I know, but you had to be there I guess.

3) A jocular fellow came to the bar, overjoyed the pub sold chips and even more over the moon that he could order them doused in cheese and bacon, after regaling us with his enthusiasm for this find (like the fried potato is not a feature in just about every establishment in the world!)  he asked if he can read poetry to people.  He pulled out reams of A4 paper filled to the edges with his writings.  He placed a cardboard sign over his neck advertising his free poetry readings and proceeded to animate his poetic ramblings before us.

4) A man took up a huge table to himself, he had spread out on it folders and photos and began logging and filing them.  It turned out he collected bus stops, by this I mean he travels to every bus stop in London and takes a photo of it.  I can’t begin to imagine how many bus stops there are in the whole of London since I pass about 6 in a 5 minute walk to the pub from home.  

A short walk home can often involve the Disinfectant Lady.  She sits on a childs stool outside the supermarket, dressed like Pippi Longstocking, hair in bunches and proceeds to laugh at people whilst drinking Jeyes Disinfectant fluid.   I don’t know if she is a good or bad promotion of drinking cleaning products.

You can also be accosted by crack heads looking for 50p to get a room for a night (if you believe that)  One who was begging asked me for a cigarette this week, I said, “sorry I don’t have any” (lie) which he interpreted differently and said “Don’t tell me to f*** off”  as he stood up and attempted to come after me when his legs gave way beneath him.   Crack heads aren’t known for their athletic achievements.

Camden Town is a love or hate kind of place.   I often paint a bleak picture ignoring its nicer parts, a walk down the canal through Regents Park, a civilised pub crawl round Primrose Hill, a meal in one of many nice restaurants, a gig at a famous music venue.  

But Camden is nothing without its people who more often than not tend to verge on the freaky side.  I know tonight I’ll encounter as many freaks as mentioned here, maybe someone will be writing on their own blog about the time they went to a pub on a Friday night and saw 5 people stood at the bar – not ordering a beer or taking shots of liquor but making their own chip sandwiches, an open loaf of bread, a tub of butter which they’d brought along themselves and a big bowl of freshly fried chips. 

But you can’t beat a chip butty and they were delicious.

Leave a comment


  1. WOW, you are right it was freak week.

  2. You have some of the best stories. It probably helps that you are drunk a lot. 😉

  3. This pub is now under threat of closure, to be turned into 4 flats, there has been a pub there for 250 years. Been busy trying to campaign to save it

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