Infomercial mind control

It’s 6am in the morning so my brain is far from kicking into gear, it just about copes with chucking a handful of cat food into Lily’s bowl, except I put it in the water bowl by mistake so it swells and floats to the surface, Lily looks at it then glances up at me in disgust.  Once I have corrected my error I rev up the coffee machine and switch on the TV.

I start watching the news, which soon goes round on loop, it’s a slow news day that we get extra long reports on Glastonbury and soon tire of watching Bono painfully parade around in leather strides and I make a mental note to make sure I accept growing older and try not to cling on to my youth when the time comes.

I scan the channels and it’s that time of the morning when most programming is yet to kick in apart from kids tv and Spongebob is way too trippy to cope with now.  The rest of the channels all have Teleshopping, I scroll a few and settle on one, lets see if my fragile mind can be manipulated this early that I will find some pointless invention so amazing that I can no longer carry on my life without owning it.

A camera pans over Miami South Beach, the sun is beating down, the sea lapping the white sands, cutting to tanned good-looking people, sunbathing, jogging, fine specimens which I can obviously relate too…

Apparently Trucolour sunglasses are the best thing ever invented, not only do they look good, they will cure wrinkles and probably wash your car for you too.  They’ve set a stage up on the beach, the presenter jogs out to a rapturous reception, and the crowd lap it up and go into a frenzy whenever the Trucolour brand is mentioned, a mania not seen since The Beatles caused a sexual awakening in teenage girls in the ’60’s.

Are they really going to talk about sunglasses for the next 15  minutes?  Of course, but these are no ordinary sunglasses, “They make life seem like you are watching High Definition television”  their PR dude so proudly proclaims.   I almost spit my coffee out…they make LIFE appear like TV?!   Like real life is only a poor substitute and the more like TV it can be then all the better for us.

It reminded me of a Family Guy episode where Peter has made a TV screen hollowed from cardboard and suspends it in front of him and walks around town witnessing events as if it were a TV show….of course, he never had Trucolour sunglasses to create that HD effect.

Are we so mesmerised by imagery on TV, that the outside world, the real world pales into comparison?   I ponder this thought whilst watching the advert on my HD television.   I get up to finish my coffee in the garden, but it looks too bright outside, Trucolour sunglasses are looking better by the minute.

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